


Bath Time

by TheCrazyGeek



Category: Top Gear (UK) RPF
Genre: Bath Sex, Hand Jobs, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-10
Updated: 2012-11-10
Packaged: 2017-11-18 09:04:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/559235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheCrazyGeek/pseuds/TheCrazyGeek
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(Set in the OT3 House). Richard likes giving James baths, but so far he's never managed to get Jeremy to agree. Until now...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bath Time

“You have GOT to be kidding me! No way in hell. I'm not doing this”

Words Richard had heard many a time coming from Jeremy's mouth, usually pertaining to some idiocy that he and James had thought up, but this situation was hardly equivalent to the old “set a car on fire and then drive it while covered in lighter fluid and smoking a fag” situations.

It was a bath.

Just a bath of hot water, not Castrol GTX or petrol. It had no motorcycle parts in it (James had removed them earlier under threat of no blow jobs for a week) nor did it have a camera crew or the press. Their household had a truly epic sized bathroom with a raised platform tub so huge you could probably drive a Rolls-Royce into should you be so inclined.

So why was Jeremy complaining?

Because Richard was planning on washing him. He'd done this often with James, soaping up the older man, massaging his shoulders, his scalp, cleaning him from top to toe, rubbing oils into clean wet skin...James once commented that Richard was more cat than hamster because “you do like to clean before you play with your toys”.

Well this was one cat who was determined to get his paws on a naked and clean Jeremy.  
  


He'd set it up right, bath drawn to the kind of temperature Jeremy liked (“hot enough to light a fag off it”), a simple moss green bath concoction that smelled sufficiently 'manly' while still being relaxing, a bottle of wine chilling in a cooler next to a heap of towels and James banished to the garage for the proceedings. James had commented that anyone in their right mind would prefer an evening taking apart an engine to an evening spent arguing with Clarkson but retired with good grace to his motorcycle.

“Look, I'm no baby and I'm not clapped out yet, why the hell would I need anyone to wash me?” Jeremy huffed, putting on his I'm-so-manly-I-give-the-sofa-orgasms-by-sitting-on-it face.

“It's not about cleaning you, it's about me wanting to do something **for** you. Come on, you've seen how much James likes it!”

“That bloody spaniel”

“Look” Richard sighed “I really want to do this, please?” putting his famous puppy dog eyes look into work.

Jeremy could feel his reservations crumbling. Okay, he'd feel silly but it would put Hammond in the position of owing him a favour later and he fancied getting them both absolutely filthy in a variety of ways. Oh to hell with it.

“Okay, you win, I'll get in the damn bath”

The sound Richard made could only be described as 'squee'.

….......................

 

“So, I'm naked and in a bath. What now?” bitched Jeremy

Richard stifled a long-suffering sigh “You lie there and just let me get on with what I want to do. It's really lazy Jez, you'll love it”.

“What if I want a drink?”

Richard pointed over to the wine and glasses resting on the floor, “got that covered mate”

“What if I decide to just shag you against the wall?”

Chuckling to himself, Richard reflected once again on the crazed single-mindedness of this lover. Oh sure, James would take hours over you and make sure every single part was tingling with anticipation before finally giving into his carnal lusts, but Jeremy hadn't the patience for that, as the odd dents in various walls of the house would attest to.

But this wasn't the time for sex. Not yet anyway...

“What if I want a fag?”

Oh for....”just wait will you?” Richard snapped back, “this will go a lot smoother if you didn't keep asking inane questions!”

“What if I need the bog?”

That did it. “Jeremy, if you piss in this bath like the ape you are I will do something equally revolting to your Mercedes. You know I will”

The laughter that came as a reply was familiar enough to Richard to know that in this round, at least, he'd won. Time for the main event.

…................

Jeremy Clarkson considered himself to be 'all man', a ferocious beast of pure id who only cared about driving fast cars, starting arguments and getting his end away. Within the last year or so he'd added 'getting naked and sweaty with his his co-presenters' to the list but bathing was still not a luxury to him, it was something you did to get clean enough that James would be prepared to have sex with you.

It was Richard's fingers that did it for him though. The hands that would manage a Zonda through a screaming tunnel were busy rotating in firm circles across his back and shoulders and much to his embarrassment had already provoked a very unmanly groan when they wandered up the nape of his neck. Hammond had just chuckled briefly at the noise before starting on his shoulders and Jeremy could feel the tension of a long week spent filming drift off into the clouds of steam. No wonder James liked this although he'd be buggered if he'd ever admit it to that fuzzy haired spaniel..

….

 

Much later on as Richard had worked his way all the way down to Jeremy's feet, lavishing as much attention there as he had almost every other part, Jeremy spoke up.

“Hammond?”

“Hmm, yes?” Richard replied

“You've missed a spot”

Looking up from where he was kneading Jeremy's feet (which had prompted some truly pornographic moans from Mr Clarkson) he scanned up and down the bath. “Nope, done you all over mate, and I've not missed any part of your feet either.”

“Look further up you daft git, I'm not talking about my bloody feet”

Richard slid his hand into the water and traced his fingers up Jeremy's left leg, slowly running his hand higher as he crawled alongside the bath. In a fit of pure mischief he deliberately missed the quite obvious erection under the water and raised his hand up Jeremy's chest to circle a hardened nipple.

“Yep, okay that spot does seem a little tense I'll agree” he grinned, Hammond liked to play with his toys after all and this one was proving to be entertaining in more ways than one if the frustrated groans Jeremy was letting out were anything to go by.

Jeremy didn't seem to be in a mood for playing however as he grabbed Richard's hand and forced it down from his chest to clasp around his throbbing erection with a sigh. “Please” he whispered, looking at Richard with darkened eyes, “I need this”.

Richard started a slow teasing pace, rubbing his thumb in circles up and down the shaft, his hands still slicked with oil and maintaining the same rhythm he had used over the rest of Jeremy. No matter how many times he did this it would always bring a thrill to him, the sight of Jeremy lying under him with his head tilted back and gasping for more was one of the best experiences a Hamster could get.

Well....short of hand jobs in a Zonda anyway.

Returning to the task in hand he wrapped his fingers slowly around that shaft, bringing them up in a swift movement that caused Jeremy to buck his hips and make a delightfully pleading noise.

“I am absolutely NOT going to last long, stop teasing and fucking bring me off!” Jeremy wasn't like James and had a low tolerance for being gently brought to the edge, he wanted his fast, hard and NOW if you don't mind. Seeing as how he had been so good about the bath (eventually) Richard decided that it was worth giving the great fool a reward.

“Alright” Richard whispered into his lover's ear “I'll make you come”

He clamped his hand harder around Jeremy's stiff length and began a swift up and down motion that quickly had Jeremy gasping faster, gulping down air as his body rocked in time with Richard's strokes.

“Fuck, that's it, don't stop” Jeremy moaned as Richard's pace sped up.

“Oh, that feels good then?” Richard couldn't resist teasing even at this late stage of events, even as Jeremy began to thicken in his grasp. The only reply he got was a stifled groan as the water churned up by the furious motion of his hand and the thrusting of Jeremy's hips. Not long now.

The labouring cock in his hand seemed to swell even further before it suddenly pulsed rapidly, causing Jeremy to cry out and arch his back clear out of the water as he came, hot and hard all over Richard's hand and his own chest.

It was a while later when Jeremy had enough breath back to talk and he broke the afterglow silence by saying “well, I can see what Slow sees in that now anyway. But what do you do next then?”

“Well” Richard started, sitting up straighter by the side of the bath, “I normally get him out of the bath, dry him off, wrap him up in a large fluffy towel and then we go back to our room and shag like minks”

“Hmm” Jeremy pondered “Ahh to hell with it” and with that he grabbed hold of a fully clothed Richard and pulled him into the tub with him.

“JEREMY! What the hell are you doing?”

“Well I've had this brilliant idea see. If I shag you in the bath then it means neither of us need a shower later to get James to join in”


End file.
